I've moved to Wordpress

Hey folks, to make life a little bit easier, I've rolled my stuff over to a wordpress account.

All past posts and comments are still available through my new page and new posts will be coming soon!

You can access it here
http://whatiwillnotforget.wordpress.com/

ABC Gum

Someone looked at me today and said, "You're getting the leftovers of the day. Actually, it's Friday, so you're getting the leftovers of the week." For real! I could not have made this up. I felt like they had just handed me an already chewed piece of gum and called it a birthday present.

My guess was this person was running on empty. Lord knows, I've been there. We all have. The difference was this person said it, but the truth is we can always feel it when we get people's dredges.

Being full isn't just about us. We are not the only ones who benefit. When we're full and spill out onto others, they leave feeling valued and better. I started thinking on the way home, "I never want anyone to feel like they're getting my leftovers. I don't want to scrape the bottom of the barrel and give them the gunk that's there."

So, I came home, and I canceled some plans. I said no to this evenings activities in order to say to being filled, in order to say yes to more meaningful interactions with that person later on, to say you're worth the good stuff at the top.

See, I'm learning. It's slow and steady, and comes with a fair amount of whining, but I'm learning.

The Dredges

So, this was not the post that I planned on writing yesterday when my feeler got stuck, but I promise that one is coming. It's a good one, but today something hit me, and I feel like I need to process through it here.

A few posts ago, I wrote about having dinner with Church Heather. As we sat and talked, she shared with me something God had communicated to her while she was sick, and all she could do was listen. He told her to imagine her life as this cup, and when she gave her all to Him, her cup was filled. And not just filled, but He would lavish his riches into her life. Now, if we're plugged into the Spirit, our cup is getting filled continuously, but at the same time, our cup is being depleted. It can be depleted in a good way. For example, Heather sharing this information with me is allowing some of the goodness and mercy from her own life to spill into mine. Now, we can also be depleted in a negative way. If I'm giving my all or even part of me to something that is not God, then it's like I'm filling my cup with sponges that constantly soak up the good stuff but don't pay it forward.

Sometimes, our cups can get really low or empty - just like when the gas light comes on in your car. You start to panic, and you look for the quickest fill up. We often turn to people or things in these situations. When, in fact, we should be looking to rest and time with God.

Here are the questions Heather posed to me. 1) How long does it take you to get filled back up? 2) Should you ever let yourself get that low in the first place?

I then began thinking, and I added another question. 3) What does God use to fill me? God created us as individuals. What is taxing for one person is supreme joy and rest for another. My roommate loves to clean. It gives her a sense of order. She derives energy from making things clean and orderly. I hate it. It is an effort for me. However, I like to read Jane Austen, and the Brontes, and Louisa May Alcott. I find joy in delving into their stories and relating to their characters. Roomie finds them tedious and boring.

Roomie is Catholic, so she takes great pleasure in tradition and liturgy. I love contemporary worship music and being outside with God. Neither of these is wrong. We both get full from the ways we spend time with God. It's simply that God recharges us in different ways. When I stop to think about it, it's a beautiful process.

I'm coming to the point of all this. I promise. I read a statement today. It basically said we should be serving others from the excess of our lives. I've got to be honest. I don't know if I'm doing that at the moment. I think I allow myself to think that if I show up to work with the youth, or meet with my small group girls, or even teach my students, this is ministry. The truth is that if I don't have any excess to pour out onto others, I am not truly serving them.

In our culture, we hear this gospel of busyness. If we're not here this night, or doing this thing here, or turning our lives into a giant tail spin of "ministry," we are not truly mature believers. As many of you know I've been going through Exodus (for like forever now), and God keeps coming back to, "Honor the Sabbath and keep it Holy." God built in rest to His plan. He ordered it. He made it a part of His law for living. We've traded this law, that was meant for love, in for a to-do list. Go to church on Sunday, keep the nursery, help with the youth on Wednesday, go to lady's bible study, volunteer at the clothes closet, take food to the people next door. None of these are bad things. In fact, I think we'd argue that each thing has great merit, but when it is not done from the excess of life filled with God's mercy and peace, we will eventually come to resent it.


My friend, Jenny, recently sent me an article  about how sometimes, we have to say no in order to say yes. Say no to one obligation, or group, or person, in order, to say yes, I have served in this other area well. These are hard words for me. I never want to disappoint. I never want to be a bother. I never want people to question my motives. But if I keep saying yes, I'll eventually have to say no to everything. I can't run on an empty tank. Honestly, even if I'm running on half full it means that someone is probably already feeling the "no" even if I'm not saying it.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

My Feeler Got Stuck

I had an awesome post planned for today, and it will be written one day soon. Today, however, my feeler got stuck. This is an expression I learned from Bill and Annabelle Gillum. It's used to describe that situation in which emotions are running high, but then the situation passes, but your adrenaline is still pumping, your emotions are in a tail spin, and you're feeler's just stuck.

My feeler had been cranked up to 13, but we've settled down to a manageable 8 or 9 right now. Suffice it to say that's too high a feeler level with which to blog the profound. It will probably have to wait until Thursday as I have an after-school meeting and church tomorrow. Get excited it's about life as story, and the moment we're all waiting for. (Sorry to end with a preposition again. A thousand apologies.)

Shadowfeet

I am incredibly fortunate to have AMAZING people in my life. I sometimes stop and think about how lucky I am, and it gets a little overwhelming. It's how I have the courage to laugh when people ask me when I'm going to settle down and get married, so I won't be alone. I'm never alone, and these people aren't just poor substitutions for some person I may or may not have some day. They are perfection and goodness in and of themselves.

One such person is my friend Heather. I have two Heathers, and they're both awesome! One is school Heather, and one is church Heather, though I go to church with both. It's a mystery. Anyway, I went out to eat with church Heather on Friday.

I always love talking to Heather. She is one of the most passionate people I know, and whenever I'm with her she challenges me. We got together for dinner at 5 and didn't leave until almost 9:30. It felt like 15 minutes because we alway talking and always visioneering. This is what I love most about Heather. For some reason, I'm always afraid to say the things I want to do in the future. Sometimes, I get these feelings that the dreams I have may be too good for me.

This is where Heather jumps into say, "Why not? Why can't you do that thing? Or go to that place? Or be that fabulous?" It always takes my breath away a little bit. Why is it that I believe so strongly in other people's visions, and wants, and passions, but I'm fairly certain that my own are just pipe dreams? I have a feeling it has to do with our strengths.

See, Heather is also big into the Clifton Strengths Finder. She makes pretty much everyone she meets take it, and we are all thankful and more self-aware after the fact. Heather has Futuristic and Significance. She can see how things play out into the future, and her significance means that she can't go places unless she feels like she will leave that place or person better than they were before. She loves a plan and she loves planning long term.

I am more a relational person. I have Empathy and Connectedness, so I feel my way through a lot of stuff. Feelings are really good things. There was a time when I thought this wasn't true, but feelings are what make us human, and often times, feelings are what make us humane. I, however, with all my relational skills, don't have great follow through. I never think I can do something because I think I don't have a lot of executing skills, but this is thinking about my deficits and not my strengths. My relational skills make it easier for me to find people who will help me with the follow through. People like Church Heather.

So, I don't have a game plan, and I'm not even sure which dream (or dreams) to tackle first, but I do know that this year I'm going to take some risks. This year I'm going to live like the hopes I have for the future are not only possible but plausible. And I'm probably going to have a lot more dinners with Heather.

P.S. The title of today's post is a reference to a wonderful Brooke Fraser song. I talked about it at dinner with two of my other amazing friends, Dana and Kim, while we were supposed to be discussing Northanger Abbey. As Dana says, "It is a near perfect song."

P.P.S. Am I allowed to blog everyday? Because I sometimes have the inclination, but stop myself as it is some form of self indulgence. Fellow bloggers, some input (also one of my strengths) would be appreciated.

Love and Yoda

I have the world's best homeroom. In fact, they are so awesome that when I came in from monitoring the hallway the other morning, this is what I found.

Yoda had come for a visit, and not only did he visit, he left me a smiley face on a Post-It! First off, it is AMAZING that I have a student who has a Yoda gym bag (his back unzips so he can put his clothes back there). Secondly, they took the time to tape a pen to Yoda's hand, draw a smiley face on a posty, and set him so convincingly at my desk.

I think this is brilliance at its finest. People ask me all the time why in the world I would consider teaching middle schoolers. I think from now on, to answer this question, I'm going to show them this picture. This, this right here is why I do it. They use the force for good, and I'm beyond smitten with them for it.

The Girls are OK

I meet with a group of girls every other week for discipleship. You may remember reading about them here. They're pretty much the greatest girls you'll ever meet, and every time we get together and talk, I get so blindsided by how difficult their lives are. People can spare me the crap that kids have it easy these days. Stuff does not replace genuine relationships and emotions. They've endured such hardship and meanness from family, and friends, and just this messed up world we live in, yet, they're still so good.

Needless to say, I worry. I worry a lot. I worry so much that tonight on my way home I started to cry. I just turned off the radio, and cried, and talked to God. I just kept coming back to this thought of, "God, I need them to be ok, and the only way any of us is going to be ok is in You."

I think tonight for the first time every I understand what Paul meant when he talked about being willing to give up his salvation for someone else. While it's not entirely the same, I just thought about how I want them to be better than I am. I want them to love God more. I want them to desire Him more. I want them to do better things and be better people than I will even dream of being. I want them to be better than me in every way. I want them to be ok - safe, loved, valued, free, thinking, and beautiful.

I thought about the line Marmee says when Susan Sarandon plays her in the new Little Women movie. - "I so wish I could give my girls a more just world." I know how you feel, Marmee. For now, I take comfort in the fact that my girls will make it better and that they're ok.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

I've alluded a couple of times to the fact that I just can't seem to finish the book of Exodus. Really, there's a lot of irony in this, but I keep getting sidetracked by the New Testament. This isn't a bad thing, but I've made a commitment to read the Bible chronologically. This isn't just legalism for me. I realize that I put a great amount of stock in story, and the Bible is a narrative, so for a story lover, it looses a little something when you go out of sequence. I decided that I need to do this to further my understanding of the master storytelling of God.

So, I'm chilling with the Israelites first in Egypt and now we're on our way to the Promised Land. What I keep getting caught up in is mindset of the people? They're running out of food, and they say to Moses, "Um, did God just bring us out here to die? We would have been better off if we had stayed in Egypt." My first reaction is to be all "How ungrateful! Do you not understand the fact that you were slaves? You kinda asked for this." However, the the straight up truth is that I do this a lot, too.

It sounds a little different when I say it. It's more, "God, it was better when I could talk about someone and not have that twinge of discomfort. God, I was a lot better off when I didn't have to tithe and could buy more stuff for me. God, it was better when I didn't have to give up my time for others and could watch tv all day." But the truth is, freedom is always better. What I didn't understand about those times was that I wasn't my own master. When I choose the things that are not what God has for me, I become a slave to a destiny that's not my own.

If I honestly appraise these situations, I find that they make me more loving, less materialistic, more selfless. They make me more of who I am in every way. They bring with it a freedom to enjoy life. A freedom to be known. A freedom to love and be loved.

I keep writing in the margin of my Bible, "Freedom is always better." Go hungry, but be free. Be alone, but be free. Put yourself in danger, but be free. Freedom is always better. Harriet Tubman said something to the effect that she had rescued thousands of slaves, but she could have rescued thousands more if only they had realized that they weren't free. Man, that statement hit me hard. I'd hate to think of myself walking around not knowing that I'm a slave. So this week, I'm asking God to show me. Where am tied to things that take away my choice? Where am I not living the glorious life He's planned for me? Where can I be more me instead of a slave to something else? I have a feeling I'm less free than I'd like to think.

As a separate Holla! I have to give a shout out to my amazing Mom. I have an abscessed tooth which hurts unlike anything I have ever experienced before (sorry to end a sentence with a preposition). I had to leave work today and went through a whole debacle to get something for the pain (I really wanted to rip my own face off) and a more powerful antibiotic. I'm a crier, and I called my mom twice today in tears of pain and frustration. So, this evening, my wonderful mother, in the sleet and icky rain, brought me soup and jello, so I could eat something without wanting to slam my head against the wall. It really hurts that much.

Love the Ones You're With

I have a difficult time with transitions. I’m sure you’ve figured this out from earlier posts. With this being said, it came as a surprise to everyone, including myself, when I decided to make a transition at work. After 4 years of teaching 7^th grade, I decided it was time to do something different.

This year I started teaching 6^th grade, and I loved it. I loved the kids. I loved the curriculum. I loved the parent involvement (remind me of this during conference time). I loved the new people I worked with. The only thing that smarted was my desire to be with the people I had once been with.

I often have these desires. I wish like crazy that I could pull all the people I love together - all my favorite work colleagues on one hall, all my friends and family in the same neighborhood, all of my favorite church people on the same pew. I hate that the people I love get compartmentalized.

In a way, I guess I’m lucky. I know many people who have this. They have a small and intimate circle of loved ones, and they’re comprised largely of the home and workplace. This isn’t a bad life. I just seem to need more attention than that. ;)

I wish I didn’t have to choose between spending time with this one group of friends in order to spend time with another. I want them all to be one. I want them all to love each other the way I love them. I want a utopia of perfect friendships, and I want you to be there.

It's a Beautiful Day!

We've had gorgeous weather this weekend in Georgia. Highs in the upper 60s. Slight breezes. Sunshine. This spring like weather has been good for the soul. It just makes me feel like good things are coming. Springtime (I realize it's only January, but it feels like April right now) always does this to me. I love it. Feels like I'm waking up again. Let's pray for more days during which I can drive with my windows rolled down and the music turned up.

My Broken Bookish Heart

I am ostensibly part of a Jane Austen book club. I was unable to attend our first meeting because . . . well, I honestly can't remember why, but I was so super excited for our second meeting. We would be discussing Northanger Abbey which I had not read before. We were to discuss the book, nosh on some goodies, and watch the latest BBC adaptation of the film.

I have been so pumped about it all day. I, in fact, turned down spending more time with my friend, Anna E, which I never do, in order to go. I kept checking the Facebook invite on my phone all day. We were to begin at 9 and end at 12. I thought this strange, but it fit in the with pseudo-gothic theme of the book. I did my deeds for the day and came home to make cheesey bread bites, perhaps, the most delicious treat in the whole world. Then, I waited.

At approximately 8:20 I tricked the dog into going into her crate. (We got a dog or Roomie did, I should say, but that is another post.) I put my cheesey bread bites which had cooled into a tupperware container, and sat down at my computer to look up my friend, Dana's, address. When I pulled up the event on my computer, you will imagine my shock and surprise when it says the event starts at 6 and ends at 9!

I was heart broken. The cheesey bread bites were heart broken. I'm pretty sure Jane is heart broken. The only one who is happy is Daisy, the dog, because she got to come out of her crate. What a sucky turn of events, for an otherwise delightful day. I'm going to go eat bread bites now.

Confessions

1) I cannot think of that word (confessions) without thinking about the Usher song.

2) I keep library books for an inordinate amount of time. I rack up all kinds of late fees. There are two sitting on the table right now, that I checked out in June. If you've been waiting to read A Man Called Peter or Run With the Horsemen, I'm very sorry.

3) I label the parts of speech in my head while I write and read sentences. It's an occupational hazard.

4) I am deathly afraid of clowns. In fact a co-worker of mine put a clip art picture of a clown on a slide show about adjectives, and I skipped over it in every class.

5) I've had really good responses from my last few blogs which is pretty exciting. However, I now feel I have to bring the profound every time. So, I'm confessing right now, this is not going to happen. I have very few profound thoughts. I do promise that all the profound thoughts I do have will make it here.

6) I really want to start an educational publishing company.

7) I've been jonesing to live in London for a while. I mean the London that exists in my head where I meet Richard Armitage, he falls madly in love with me, we get married, and have lots of babies who call me mum.

8) Just to go along with the song, there might be a Confessions, Part II!

For your enjoyment! You can listen to Usher's Confessions here.

Love's Divine

So, a couple of administrative things to get out of the way. We have some winners from last post's game. I've decided to honor the first blog commenter and the first Facebook commenter who had the right answer. Last weeks title - Dogmatic for the People - was, of course, a play on REM's Automatic for the People. This means that Sally Anne, you'll have something crafty delivered to your class room later this week, and TheResearcher, such a mysterious handle by the way, you'll need to email me (you can do this by clicking on my profile and an email option will be there) your name and address, so you can get your awesome crafty gift in the mail! Yay, wieners!

This brings us back to my previous angst regarding 1 Corinthians 13. Remember I was convinced it was dogma due to the unenthusiastic response of a former VBS teacher. Apart from the derision of others, the only other thing I heard (and remembered) about this passage was rather defeating. The pastor suggested that you take out the word love and replace it with your name, ya know, just to see how you measure up. Let's play the game right now, shall we? (Just as a heads up, I'm using The Message translation because it fits in nicely with this activity.)

Sarah never gives up. (only when it's easy)
Sarah cares more for others than for self. (I'd say 50/50)

Sarah doesn't want what it doesn't have. (um . . . macbook, iphone, dslr, Colin Firth or Richard Armitage depending . . . )
Sarah doesn't strut, (only because I'm clumsy)
Sarah doesn't have a swelled head, (usually)
Sarah doesn't force herself on others, (not usually)
Sarah isn't always "me first," (I LOVE being first)

Sarah doesn't fly off the handle, (hahahahahahaha, I teach middle school)
Sarah doesn't keep score of the sins of others, (then how will you know when you're even?)
Sarah doesn't revel when others grovel, (depends on what their score is)
Sarah takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, (for the most part)
Sarah puts up with anything, (again, I teach small children things)
Sarah trusts God always, (I would love to say this is true)
Sarah always looks for the best, (when I like the person)
Sarah never looks back (unless I'm afraid of the future)
But keeps going to the end. (only when the finish line is nearby)

You see where I got defeated? This is unattainable. I cannot measure up to love! I mean God is love, right? How can I be as good as He is? And the other night, this was where I stopped. God is all these things, so I did the exercise again, but instead of my name I put in God's.

God never gives up. (Not even when we want Him to)
God cares more for others than for self. (Amazing!)
God doesn't want what it doesn't have. (Because everything is His)
God doesn't strut, (He is doesn't need to show off His authority)
God doesn't have a swelled head, (Though no one deserves one more)
God doesn't force itself on others, (Even when He sees what we need most, but we won't take it because we don't think we need Him)
God isn't always "me first," (He did not come to be served but to serve)
God doesn't fly off the handle, (Even when He should, even when I push Him to it)
God doesn't keep score of the sins of others, (Not even mine)
God doesn't revel when others grovel, (He is mercy, and grace, and redemption)
God takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, (Always, He is always revealing it to us . . . to me)
God puts up with anything, (All the stupid, all the selfish, all the just plain wrong)
God trusts God always, (It's simple, He knows his own mind)
God always looks for the best, (In all of us, in me, in you, in my enemy)
God never looks back, (It cannot be changed and it is already full of His mark)
God keeps going to the end. (There is none for Him. He will go on forever, and so will we if we are in Him)

Totally changed everything. It became less a list that I would never live up to, but instead, a list of the magnificence of my Creator. A God who is all these things, a God who can put into me all these things because He dwells in me. I can have these attributes not out of effort but out of aligning myself with the Spirit. God is all these things, and because He is in me, everyday, I am becoming more of this.

Amazing! Beautiful! Astonishing! True! And all this from verses I believed, so long ago, were unworthy of my attention. All this from dogma. Turned out the dogma wasn't in the truth but in my thinking.

Dogmatic for the People

Weird fact. I learned the word dogma in the 3rd grade. I remember when it happened. My sister was talking about how in her Sunday School class, they talked about how John 3:16 had become dogma. I think here I should insert that my sister is 9 years older than me, so it wasn't like this was the discussion in 5th grade Sunday School. My sister argued vehemently against this, but in this she had to explain to me what dogma was.

Simply put, she said it was when something had become useless just because people asserted it all the time. Her argument was that assertions based on truth could never be dogmatic. I agree with her totally, but it's true that we let truth become trite to us.

I experienced this first hand when I was really young. I was chosen to pick a bible verse for our VBS group to study in about the 4th grade. I searched and searched. Then, I found it. 1 Corinthians 13. It was all about love. How could I go wrong? I remember sharing it with my group, and my teacher looking at me and saying, "You've never read that before?" She said it with such disdain, too. In that moment, I stopped thinking about that chapter with any sense of wonder. It was dogma, and everyone else had already been there.

I read back through 1 Corinthian 13 the other day. It is beautiful and wise, and it is TRUTH. I had ignored it for so long because I thought, "Oh, how cliche. Love! Everyone reads about that." But love is the thing on which we've built our entire foundation. It is God in His very essence. So, this is post one about the chapter of love. There will be more soon to come because I'm taking back truth from the realm of the trite. And I'm not going to let anyone make me feel bad for finding meaning in the simple. Not that any of you would. It's the others I'm worried about.

Added bonus!If you can guess the album title I spoofed for my title, you get a special prize. No, really you do, so start guessing.

More blog!

So one of my thoughts for the new year (note I didn't not say resolution as I am adamantly opposed to the concept), is to blog more. I know you're all thrilled.

For the past several days, I've had all these thoughts about blogs. They were going to be profound, thoughtful, down right philosophical in nature, but I find I am too tired for any of that. What I can tell you is a I went to the grocery store, made salsa, at a turkey wrap, and am now watching a re-run of the Golden Globes. I have discovered that I may be meaner than Ricky Gervais as I think Tilda Swinton is freakish, Helen Bonham's dress is hideous, and apparently shoulder pads are back in.

Steve Carrell is funny. I think Claire Danes could be my new best friend. And Jim Parsons wins!

I promise there will be more and better coming in the future. For now, goodnight and good luck!

The Real World

I ventured out into the real world for the first time in 4 days. It was pretty dang amazing. I went out to eat with my Sis, The Munchkin, Molly, and Zoe. We ate mexican food and all the adults delighted in the fact that it was food that had been made by someone else in a place other than our own kitchen. We underestimate it, but that really is a beautiful thing.

Our trip out also included a trip to the Sam's Club at which point we stopped to watch tv. The same thing we had been doing for the past four days.

In truth, that tv is a lot nicer than any of ours, and we were together which always makes things better.

We also went to TWO, count it, two Walmarts. Rounded it off with a trip to Best Buy, and then I came home.

Home. A place of warmth and relaxation. WRONG! It is currently 50 degrees in my house. The heat is out. Poor thing, I suppose it held on as long as it could. At least we're going out of town for the weekend. The forecast for St. Mary's is sunny and warm. Anna E will bring her perfectly adorable centerpieces (hopefully, I'll have pics soon) for the shower. And Ashley will be there in all of her baby bump glory. It's going to be perfect!

Day Three of Confinement

I'm starting to feel like those kids in The Cat in the Hat. I'm just waiting for a giant feline to come prancing up to make my day super interesting. It hasn't happened yet, but fortunately, Cheryl didn't have to work today which meant I had someone to talk to. Sadly, tomorrow I'm on my own again.

In all of this boredom, I've discovered a blog I love (annieblogs.com). I largely love it because my friend, Jenna, met her (Annie), and she (Jenna) said we were a lot a like. I read her blog and we are. We both love organization, Colin Firth, The Sing Off, and most importantly, Jesus. Even Cheryl thought the similarities were uncanny! I was so overwhelmed by this revelation that I emailed her to tell her of this awesome discovery. That was yesterday, and I'm starting to doubt the sanity of sending that email.

I know myself, and I know that I'm not a weird psycho killer but my new internet BFF does not. Now, I'm like, "Oh crap, I sent her the link to my blog. What if she reads it and this is the newest post?" Will she think I'm creepy or endearing? Funny, I never would have put those at opposite ends of the same continuum, but those are pretty much the two adjectives we're dealing with right now. Can you all do me a favor and assure her that I'm not totally batty? I'm just bored beyond conceivable measure. And I'm a cotton-headed-ninny muggins.

I also need some points of clarification on personal book keeping. I was cleaning out the office today (it only took me 3 snow days to get to it), and I found bills from 2006. I started sorting and purging, but I'm not certain how long you're supposed to keep these kinds of things? I have all of my tax stuff from the past however many years I've been doing taxes, but is it really important for me to keep AT&T bills from 6 months ago? I mean all they do is remind me that we pay WAY too much for internet, satellite, and a phone line we do not use. Seriously, we don't even have a phone plugged into our landline. Any wisdom on this topic?

Tomorrow's tasks include washing sheets and towels, wrapping the last of my Christmas presents (don't judge), finishing Exodus (I'm struggling with this book more than I thought I would), and perhaps some sort of crafty endeavor.

Little House in the Big Snow

I'm feeling a little Laura Ingals Wilder these days with all the snow that's around my house. It's sort of ridiculous. There's a good six inches of snow in any direction, and it's not going anywhere. I do love an ill gotten day of leisure, but the truth is I'm getting restless, and my kids and I have way too much to cover before March.

It's sad that I can feel restless after two days. I have an endless amount of entertainment. I have the whole of the internet to explore. I have like a million channels on my TV - plus lots of episodes of Glee, The Sing Off, and The Big Bang Theory dvr'd. I have tons of DVDs. With my Nook, I have an endless supply of books at my disposal. My house could totally use a once over. All this to say, I'm still a little bored.

Yesterday was better because Cheryl was home, and there was someone to play with. Sadly, sickness never takes a snow day, and as a nurse, she had to go into to work despite Snowmagedon 2011. We took down the Christmas decorations yesterday(do not judge me). We watched movies. We trudged in the snow. Today, however, I am alone which makes it so much worse.

Instead of being productive, I've chosen to perseverate on the seemingly endless line of changes that stretch before me. I don't like change. In the great words of Sheldon Cooper, "Change is never fine. They say it is, but it's not." The funny thing is that they're not really my own changes. My life is pretty much staying the same, but because people around me are making changes I'm feeling it.

It's like the Leaning Tower Pisa, and I'm the person standing there saying "Guys, this just doesn't seem right. Maybe we should scoot it a little to the left." While everyone else replies, "Oh, it's fine. You're not the one who has to live in it." Which is totally true. I don't have to live with the actual change. I just have to look at the tower a lot.

The changes aren't bad. In fact, on a whole they are absolutely fantastic steps into the future, but for someone who is kind of afraid of the future, they seem beyond momentous. It's scary. It will probably be exciting. And in the words of Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."

Now, on to things that I intend to do this afternoon.

1) Clean my room. I feel 11 when I say this, but it's true. It totally needs a good cleaning.

2) Clean up the kitchen. One of Cheryl's work friends might spend a few days at my house because his house is so far away, and he still has to get to work. I'd like to at least given the appearance that I don't live in filth.

3) Organize the office. Although, the ironic thing is that I bought cute little file holders in order accomplish this task. They are, however, in the trunk of my car which is outside, in the cold, and covered with snow. I may or may not venture out to get them. I really DON'T like being cold. I may dislike it more than change. ; )

4) Finish reading Exodus. I thought Exodus was going to be easy, but it hasn't. Just goes to show you that God is a marvelous mystery, and I am foolish to think that I can understand Him. I like that about Him. He's always the same, but then they're always something new. It's like when you go back and watch a favorite movie, and you've forgotten a scene. It was always there, but it's somehow surprising.

5) Figure out what the future holds for me. Will I have to move into the leaning tower or continue to stand around asking people to nudge it back into place for me? We'll see.