The Dredges

So, this was not the post that I planned on writing yesterday when my feeler got stuck, but I promise that one is coming. It's a good one, but today something hit me, and I feel like I need to process through it here.

A few posts ago, I wrote about having dinner with Church Heather. As we sat and talked, she shared with me something God had communicated to her while she was sick, and all she could do was listen. He told her to imagine her life as this cup, and when she gave her all to Him, her cup was filled. And not just filled, but He would lavish his riches into her life. Now, if we're plugged into the Spirit, our cup is getting filled continuously, but at the same time, our cup is being depleted. It can be depleted in a good way. For example, Heather sharing this information with me is allowing some of the goodness and mercy from her own life to spill into mine. Now, we can also be depleted in a negative way. If I'm giving my all or even part of me to something that is not God, then it's like I'm filling my cup with sponges that constantly soak up the good stuff but don't pay it forward.

Sometimes, our cups can get really low or empty - just like when the gas light comes on in your car. You start to panic, and you look for the quickest fill up. We often turn to people or things in these situations. When, in fact, we should be looking to rest and time with God.

Here are the questions Heather posed to me. 1) How long does it take you to get filled back up? 2) Should you ever let yourself get that low in the first place?

I then began thinking, and I added another question. 3) What does God use to fill me? God created us as individuals. What is taxing for one person is supreme joy and rest for another. My roommate loves to clean. It gives her a sense of order. She derives energy from making things clean and orderly. I hate it. It is an effort for me. However, I like to read Jane Austen, and the Brontes, and Louisa May Alcott. I find joy in delving into their stories and relating to their characters. Roomie finds them tedious and boring.

Roomie is Catholic, so she takes great pleasure in tradition and liturgy. I love contemporary worship music and being outside with God. Neither of these is wrong. We both get full from the ways we spend time with God. It's simply that God recharges us in different ways. When I stop to think about it, it's a beautiful process.

I'm coming to the point of all this. I promise. I read a statement today. It basically said we should be serving others from the excess of our lives. I've got to be honest. I don't know if I'm doing that at the moment. I think I allow myself to think that if I show up to work with the youth, or meet with my small group girls, or even teach my students, this is ministry. The truth is that if I don't have any excess to pour out onto others, I am not truly serving them.

In our culture, we hear this gospel of busyness. If we're not here this night, or doing this thing here, or turning our lives into a giant tail spin of "ministry," we are not truly mature believers. As many of you know I've been going through Exodus (for like forever now), and God keeps coming back to, "Honor the Sabbath and keep it Holy." God built in rest to His plan. He ordered it. He made it a part of His law for living. We've traded this law, that was meant for love, in for a to-do list. Go to church on Sunday, keep the nursery, help with the youth on Wednesday, go to lady's bible study, volunteer at the clothes closet, take food to the people next door. None of these are bad things. In fact, I think we'd argue that each thing has great merit, but when it is not done from the excess of life filled with God's mercy and peace, we will eventually come to resent it.


My friend, Jenny, recently sent me an article  about how sometimes, we have to say no in order to say yes. Say no to one obligation, or group, or person, in order, to say yes, I have served in this other area well. These are hard words for me. I never want to disappoint. I never want to be a bother. I never want people to question my motives. But if I keep saying yes, I'll eventually have to say no to everything. I can't run on an empty tank. Honestly, even if I'm running on half full it means that someone is probably already feeling the "no" even if I'm not saying it.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30