Fits of Inspiration

I've been surrounded lately by a group of women who are following their ambitions. They're starting businesses and college and blogs. In truth, I am very much in awe of them. They have families and kids and crazy full-time jobs. Then here I am, no husband, no kids, one moderately stressful job, and I don't even really cook for myself. I felt a little aimless.

See, I'm a teacher. I teach Language Arts, and I'm always telling my students that they have a story to tell. They have something in them that is important to the world. I truly believe this, but somewhere in there, I forgot that I had a story to tell, too. I'm always doing things like that. I always believe things truly and deeply for others and not so much for myself.

In this realization I decided a blog might be a good spot for my story to begin. There came the debate of what to blog about. I mean, I have things to tell and say, but I'd like for them to all fit into some sort of cohesive category. I have plenty to write about my job, but as I'd like to keep it, I figured I'd better steer clear of that one. I refuse to cook my way through a cookbook because there's a lot that I don't want to have to eat or cook. I also refuse to drone on about my single state because in truth I don't mind being single. It affords me time to start a blog, and stay extra late at work if need be, and to work with the youth at church. I don't have to feel guilty about any of it. I just get to do it. That's some pretty amazing freedom. I'm also a commitment-phob, but we'll get to that latter.

Like all good writes, I digress, a lot. You'll have to get used to it. Anyway, back to the point. I still didn't have an idea as to what to write about. During my quandary, I started to notice some things. I was discovering all these truths about myself and what God truly thinks of me. As I made these discoveries, I realized again that I knew them for others, but I didn't accept them for myself. The crazy thing is that I don't think I'm alone in feeling this way. I think there are a lot of us who can believe God's mercy and grace for others and not for ourselves.

So, the purpose of this blog is two-fold. The first fold is rather selfish. It allows me the opportunity to work out some of the spiritual things I'm discovering and take a little time to reflect on the Love God has for me. The second fold is to share my story with others in hope that we can make some discoveries together. That we can be reminders that Truth is not simply for others who are more worthy or in need, but that Truth is for us.

There it is the whole selfish and glorious truth. This blog is a way for me to do life with others. It's a opportunity to cling to some of the things God is teaching me. It's the chance for me to tell my story - no matter what it might look like in the end.