A Day

It's been a day. Long and more tiring than it should have been.

Sometimes, I hate having empathy. Sometimes, I feel like I don't have a "right" to feel the way I do. Like when I see someone else's pain, and it so overwhelms me. I don't feel like I deserve to feel sad about that. I feel like other people with "legitimate" claims to sadness look and me and think "She's just an emotional whore. Who is she to feel this way? I lost a mother, or a friend, or a companion, and she's just on the periphery. She's sad because I'm sad? She's grieved because I am? She has no right."

Being Radical

There's been a lot of talk lately about being radical. Terry Jones, the pastor of a church in Florida, has gotten no end of attention for his decision to burn copies of the Quran on September 11th. Jones said it was a radical move aimed to fight the radical Islamic movement. Providentially, Jones decided to cancel the event and is meeting with Muslim leaders in New York instead.

Stick with me for a second because you're not going to like what I say next. Terry Jones was not 100% wrong. We do need a radical movement in our world. However, violence and hate in today's society just aren't all that radical. Spectacles like Jones was planning are the norm. People go to violent and absurd extremes all the time to make their point.

Radical does not mean you have to cause a media frenzy. Radical doesn't mean that you hurt others - physically or emotionally. It means that you have to do something out of the norm.

Here's where I start having to point the finger back at myself. My gut reaction to this story was to send Jones an email detailing all the positively radical things he could do as a Christian.

- He could make sure the homeless people in his community had places to stay.

- He could make sure no one in his community went hungry.

- He could give away part of his salary.

- He could burn hateful propaganda.

- He could collect items to send to the troops.

- He could raise money for The Clean Water Campaign.

- He could befriend a Muslin and show them the very person of Christ through his actions.

But the thing is, I could do all that, too. I could be radical but I'm not. In a way, I envy Terry Jones. However misguided he was (and I fully believe that had he gone through with his plan it would have been disastrous on untold levels), he certainly isn't apathetic.

Passion and wisdom are a lot like faith and works. Faith without works is dead. I would go out on a limb and say wisdom without passion is apathy and passion without wisdom is reckless or worse. Terry Jones had passion, but he lacked the wisdom to display God's message in way that loved his enemies. Which, loving your enemies is a hugely radical concept. I do not claim to be wise or passionate. Both of these attributes are something I need to desperately seek after.

As I gain wisdom and passion, radical is sure to follow. We cannot love Jesus and not want to change things. He is a creator God and that attribute wasn't done away with on the 7th day rest. He is daily creating in us new beings. He is creating for us new passions and purpose. If we are constantly being renewed, there is no way for us to ignore the stagnation around us.

I think there are some questions I need to ask of myself. What passions has God placed in me? For what work is He renewing me? What will it look like for me to be radical? I wish I knew the answers already. I wish I was prepared and able to do all of the things I mentioned before, right now, but I know I'm not. The wonderful things about God is that He'll take me there. He'll bring me to the place. I may not realize it as I go along. Passion and wisdom may look more like sorrow and suffering along the way, but the destination will be something radically beautiful.

I'm Pretty Much a Rockstar

This afternoon I hung out with the fabulous Howell folks, and the coolest thing happened when we picked Lily up from daycare.

Kristin walked into Lily's room before me and said, "Guess who I brought?" As I rounded the corner, Lily spotted me and shouted, "Sarah Cosey!" She ran to give me a huge hug, and I decided that this must be what rockstars feel like.

I also decided that even if Lily Howell is the only one who feels that way when she sees me, then that's really doing better than most. I also love that she calls me by my full name.

It's the cheesiest.

I'm feeling a little sentimental today. Let's face it. I feel sentimental pretty much everyday. Today, however, I think it came in an extra large dose.

My oldest and best friend moved an hour away a couple of weeks ago. An hour may not seem like much, but when you're as busy as we are, it may as well be an eternity. I was able to talk Steph into coming back to the big G'ville this weekend, so we could hang out.

Tonight was beautiful. We ate at our favorite Mexican restaurant. We gathered up the Roomie after dinner and went to Target. We stayed in the jommie section for an inordinate amount of time. On our way to the special school supply section (see earlier posts to learn of my insane love of the school supplies), I realized I needed dryer sheets. Roomie and Steph went on, and I went in search of Gain Apple Mango Tango dryer sheets of which they had none.

As I was walking down the aisle back toward the school supply section, I could see Roomie and Steph. It was like tunnel vision right towards them. It reminded me of those scenes in movies where people focus in on the thing they've been searching after for so long. Cheesey, I know, but in that moment my heart was so full. I had these two amazing friends with me. Friends who would joke about how the world would be horrible if we all had rhyming names like Amelia Bedelia, or if my father were in fact Robert Redford.

Having friends is such a goodness, and it's not one that I entirely deserve. Being known is such a privilege. To think that now we only know in part, and one day we'll know in full - not just about ourselves, or each other, but about God. It's heart warming, and cheesey, and saccharine, but it's truth which makes it entirely beautiful.

Steph is in the purple shirt in the photo above.

I'm bringing modesty back!

I have a few fashions from the past that I intend to bring back into vogue.

For women:
1) Bonnets
2) Ankle length dresses and skirts
3) Moderately puffed sleeves
4) On occasion, the bustle

For men:
1) Tall hats
2) The cravat
3) Vests
4) Pocket watches

Be on the look out. They'll soon be all the rage.

"In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking, but now God knows, anything goes."
Cole Porter

School Supplies

I LOVE school supply season. I wish I had all the money in the world so that I could stockpile pencils and index cards. I picked a very good profession for all this nonsensical love. Please go to your local Target or Wal-mart to view the school supply section in all of its glory. You'll be glad you did.

Peace, love and Pencil packs,
Miss Sarah

Homespun

I have these dreams of being a key player in a new arts and crafts movement. I have visions of myself knitting cute hats, sewing my own clothes, and selling handmade quilts at local shops.

I keep thinking that if I got rid of cable TV, I would have all of this time just to create. I'm pretty sure TV is just a scapegoat.